Delhi traffic is a classic case of how things can go totally haywire when people have a scant disregard for the laws, rules or regulations (term it what ever you like)
Driving on Delhi roads is much more tough and stressful than Formula-1 racing because over there you have only one type of competitors fighting for the same space – cars, albeit of different make but still cars. On Delhi roads you have as much variety as you would find in a local vegetable market. Small to large, cheap to costly you name it and you have the variety.
For the uninitiated who are unacquainted with Delhi traffic, they might find this all gibber and gabber and would dismiss this article with a shrug saying “Big Deal, same is the situation in all the major metros in India”. But no dear friend, you have to be in Delhi, sit in the driver’s seat and drive around any major or minor road and you would get a first hand experience of what I am driving to.
There are exceptions everywhere and so are here, please don’t include the green heartland of Delhi – Sir Lutyen’s Delhi in this category.. reasons? All other conditions kept the same the security is so tight in this area that as this is a VIP zone that try any of your circus acts here and you wont pass by the next two traffic signals, you would be intercepted by one of the famed Delhi cops beforehand. Trust me when I say this, you’d rather prefer to wait in the serpentine queue for another 10 mins rather than risk having a confrontation with the Delhi cops because they wont distinguish if you are a software engineer or a vice-president. The result of which is that they wouldn’t hesitate even a second to man-handle you and talk to you in such a rural and harsh language resulting in you praying to god that why wasn’t I born as a snail so that I could retreat into my shell this very instant.
Coming back to the main subject, Delhi traffic.. Delhi has by and large the widest streets/roads in the entire country.. No second opinions on this. And Delhi would soon be the city to have the largest number of fly-overs in the entire continent. Still, venture out at any time/hour onto the streets of Delhi, be it the arterial ring road or the by lanes and sub lanes you would never find them devoid of traffic snarls. In short, there is no predictable time when I can venture out and reach my destination in a relatively shorter amount of time. Now why is this so? Primarily because of the various players we have on the Delhi roads.. So I’d give you a vivid description of these players now.
Buses: two types, the state run DTC(Delhi Transport Corporation) and private buses.
The state run DTC buses would keep on rolling on the left side of the street in their lane.. rickety and smoke emitting, they are relics of a by-gone era.. not from the times of Raj though. They are the least of a disturbance as you can overtake them anytime you want, they wont run you down on red-lights because once they stop at signals it takes an equivalent of electric shocks to bring them to life again.
Private buses – Ah!! These are the notorious, street robbers, gangsters, bullies… call them n number of names and they wont suffice. In Delhi these buses make the Page3 headlines each day with the number of people they ran down the previous day on Delhi roads. Popularly known as the Red Line or Blue Line buses, they are operated by private owners who do an excellent job of packing people like sardines in a can in the bus. They are very customer friendly, give them a hand and they would stop for you bang in the middle of the road with a screeching halt, the customer friendliness ends here.. Try haggling with them over the price of tickets and you might find yourself either thrown out of the door or beaten black and blue by the conductors and driver. You might wonder that I am over- exaggerating, ok take a sample size… visit the Delhi Edition of TOI and Hindustan times online for just five days and you would very well get it if I am exaggerating or not.
Cycles, Rickshaw pullers, four wheeled carts and 3 wheeled luggage carts – These guys are the uncrowned kings of Delhi roads primarily because they don’t need a “License To Drive” and hence they do not have any fear of the law what-so-ever. These chaps drive their respective vehicles with such a major disdain bang in the innermost lane, that they very well act as bottlenecks to choke the incoming traffic and smoothline the outgoing traffic. These guys are simply crazy, they change their lanes at the last moment by just lifting their miniature hands a little bit, no consideration at all for the vehicles approaching from the back… screeching sounds of brakes also acts as no deterrent for them. And Dare you, yes Dare you touch even their royal wagons with your peanut vehicle, they’d make sure you don’t leave the place with 2000 bucks less in your pocket.
Two – Wheelers( Motor cycles, scooters) :- These guys are the equivalent of F1 drivers in the motorcycle racing. They live in the truest spirit, nothing can stop them on Delhi roads. If there is a long traffic jam in front of them, they would either mount their vehicle on to the middle partition or take it straight on the sidewalks and wroom wroom they’d start racing again. The act of driving your two wheeler zig zag between vehicles standing on a red light is an art typical in Delhi. I tried emulating the same in Chennai twice/thrice, my pillion friends closed their eyes and started chanting that very instant, that was the last time they sat behind me on any vehicle.
If you have reached so far, then I’d say I am tired of punching out, see you sometime in my neighboring car on one of the Delhi roads and then we too would wroom wrooooom.
